I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
