Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Randomize
