just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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