Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
