seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
