I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
