the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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