moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
