I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
