She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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