Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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