I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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