What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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