either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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