i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
