I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
