The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I currently don't understand fingers.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
