I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
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