You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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