My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you would pick up someone in the library
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
