She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
