Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
