can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
