I can text with my tongue
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
