you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
