Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
