Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
