If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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