the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
