to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
