had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
