12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
