i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
