Already got asked if we're dating
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
