she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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