Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
