Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
