You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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