my phone needs a breathalizer
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
