Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
