I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
