It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
