No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
