You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
