a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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