i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
