So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
