I'd wear matching sweaters with you
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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