What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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