cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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