I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
